Welcome to a community that will only show love and support for your highest good. I would like to tell you a little about me. I won’t tell the full story as it would take far too long. However, below are some of the things I have gone through and suffered with. You must remember you are not alone in this world. There is always a helping hand, an ear to listen, a body to sit with a soul to connect with. You just have to make the first moves and the process will take care of the rest.



“Your life is a journey of learning to love yourself first and then extending that love to others in every encounter”

OPRAH WINFREY



I have received a First in my psychology Bachelors degree and what I like to say a doctorate in the school of life.

I have had a far cry from what society considers the conventional life and with that I am completely accepting. Without the journey I have endured and survived I would not be here today to help others do the same. I would not be me.

A little about my history

Growing up I came from a loving family that only wanted the best for me. I come from a mixed background with my mother being English and my dad being Arabic. Growing up this created a lot of friction. I was a young girl living in amongst western culture expected to abide by the Arabic culture.

As I got older I couldn’t help feel as if I had been restricted from taking part in life and as if I was missing out on so much. So I decided to leave home, young eager, naive and extremely curious. I wanted to experience everything I thought had been held back from me.

At the age of 21 I involved myself with the wrong social circles and made bad decisions that lead me down a path of putting off taking accountability for my life. Stupidity, naivety and sheer rebellion led me to abrupt awakening to what the outside world could really provide for me and I lost myself for a good while.

We all make mistakes and we all have a story to tell. Some of the best success stories and some of the strongest people come from those that have made the greatest mistakes. However it was going to take me a while to learn this.

Until then this experience had a profound effect on my self perception, self worth and were I placed myself in life. It rewired my brain to function from a sense of lacking and doubt. I harboured shame and regret. I felt I was limited to how I could exist in the world.

This had an astounding effect on my interpersonal relationships in life. I started to sacrifice my own needs because I didn’t think I was worth much. This repetitive cycle happened for years and I plodded through life looking for some sort of saviour. Looking for someone to give me direction and love me because I couldn’t love myself.

Low self worth invites and attracts the wrong types of people into your life because you cease to have love for yourself and with that any sort of boundaries. I accepted toxic relationships with open arms. I lacked self confidence to leave situations that were not serving me. I was not strong enough and didn’t believe in myself enough to listen to my innate instinct.


People that you let into your life are not always your friends and those that say they love you may only love what they can take from you

The come back

Everyones rock bottom can feel and look a little different. But we all know when we have landed in that place.

There is no other destination than rock bottom. So its a choice of staying there or choosing to move. Sometimes rock bottoms are much needed in life. It may not feel like it or look like it at the time but there is a big lesson rock bottoms can teach you if you chose to fight the fight head on and grow.

When I reached rock bottom what came with the isolation was clarity. Profound realisation set in for me that no one was coming to save me except me. I was the one that had to take accountability for my life. The strong realisation dried up my tears, shame turned into resilience, the loneliness turned into self reflection and the heartbreak and betrayal became empowering. For far too long I had repeated the same patterns and the same behaviour out of fear of losing something that I never truly had.

I had become a prisoner of my own toxic habits but most of all a prisoner within my own mind. I was crippled with fear deep inside, even if I didn’t show it, I was scared of everything, fear of failing, fear of being fat, fear of loneliness, fear of starting something new, fear of taking risks, fear of fear. I had actually normalised living my life that way but it was exhausting because I was miserable deep down inside.

The time had come that I had truly had enough. As if finally awake for the first time and with some guts that I had much needed for a long time I decided to change me, people, places and things without hesitation. I did not repeat my cycles and I decided to do something different, do what I normally wouldn’t do and I finally started to see a different reaction. I was coming back me, the real me standing in my power.

Background on my eating disorder

My eating disorder has been a long ordeal. No sooner had I escaped anorexia I was then crippled with bulimia, binge eating and night eating syndrome. Going back 20 years ago I felt really ashamed of how I was binging on food because no one ever really talked about the disorder like they do now. I didn’t understand why I had lost control and was now suffering with frequent binges. I now know its because anorexia took away my understanding of how to eat. I had spent so long depriving myself I had no understanding of when I was hungry or full or what portion sizes I should be eating. Nevertheless, I tried hypnotherapy and a myriad of other things in the hopes that it would stop. However nothing worked.

Bulimia was my way of counteracting my binges and this was my coping mechanism but I soon realised I couldn’t cope putting my body through this constantly. I was extremely exhausted and I felt extremely weak. I was also very emotional. I really felt alone and burdened by this big secret that was consuming my life. I felt completely out of control around food.

Night eating syndrome creeped in while I was at university. This deprived me of sleep and I hit rock bottom. I was consumed by the thought of food day and night. I frantically looked for ways to overcome it. I switched bedrooms thinking that it may help me sleep better. I cleared out cupboards so there was no food in the house. I starved myself through the day if I had binged in the night. All in the hopes of counteracting what I had eaten. This was a very messy existence and internally I was a shambles. Again, this was a subject totally unheard of. I didn’t even know it was another eating disorder at the time.

Eating disorders affect your self worth, self esteem and existence. They effect your relationship with others and the one you have with yourself. I disconnected with my family because I felt misunderstood. My mood swigs didn’t help and I harboured resentment. Now that I had started eating everyone was happy but I blamed everyone for my new disorders. It wasn’t anyones fault. No one could have predicted that this would happen and my mum was happy her daughter wasn’t wasting away. However, my uncontrollable eating was causing major anxiety because I felt I couldn’t stop. I was conscious of my weight going up and afraid of becoming heavily overweight. Coming straight out of anorexia to then binge eating was like living in hell. I still had the mindset of an anorexic about wanting to be thin but now I couldn’t stop myself from eating. I understand now I should have been re-educated and guided into eating food.

There is so much information available to educate people on the reasons why they binge eat. There are so many stories accessible via social media that show how people over come their struggles and its very empowering and helpful. Unfortunately with this not being so readily available all those years ago I had to go a different way about over coming my eating disorder. I realised that this lay with me and it was down to me to sort myself out. I knew after years of acquiring and struggling with these eating disorders it wasn’t going to happen over night.

Eating disorders have the great capacity to isolate you due to them breaking down your relationships. I did spend a lot of time on my own thinking and planning how to get better. I had always instinctively been trying new ways to overcome and mitigate my eating disorder. However, I kept failing and I didn’t understand why? There is a lot of soul searching when it comes to wanting to get better from an eating disorder. This was the moment I realised I had fallen out of friends with myself. I was never nice to myself. I internally berated myself and had a negative internal dialogue. I hated what I saw in the mirror. I innately knew that had to change. By becoming friends with myself it allowed for mindfulness. It slowed down the negative internal dialogued. Instead I acquired compassion for myself. I shifted away from unrealistic expectations and excepted that getting better little by little was better than nothing at all. I started to become present because I started excepting myself. Learning to accept failure and releasing contempt for myself allowed me to see myself as a person again. These intricate changes in my mind and therefore my actions were milestones in a successful blue print that helped pull me out of my eating disorder.

PROGRAM INFORMATION

Welcome to a community that will only show love and support for your highest good. I would like to tell you a little about me. I won’t tell the full story as it would take far too long. However, below are some of the things I have gone through and suffered with. You must remember you are not alone in this world. There is always a helping hand, an ear to listen, a body to sit with a soul to connect with. You just have to make the first moves and the process will take care of the rest.

“Your life is a journey of learning to love yourself first and then extending that love to others in every encounter”

OPRAH WINFREY



I have received a First in my psychology Bachelors degree and what I like to say a doctorate in the school of life.

I have had a far cry from what society considers the conventional life and with that I am completely accepting. Without the journey I have endured and survived I would not be here today to help others do the same. I would not be me.

A little about my history

Growing up I came from a loving family that only wanted the best for me. I come from a mixed background with my mother being English and my dad being Arabic. Growing up this created a lot of friction. I was a young girl living in amongst western culture expected to abide by the Arabic culture.

As I got older I couldn’t help feel as if I had been restricted from taking part in life and as if I was missing out on so much. So I decided to leave home, young eager, naive and extremely curious. I wanted to experience everything I thought had been held back from me.

At the age of 21 I involved myself with the wrong social circles and made bad decisions that lead me down a path of putting off taking accountability for my life. Stupidity, naivety and sheer rebellion led me to abrupt awakening to what the outside world could really provide for me and I lost myself for a good while.

We all make mistakes and we all have a story to tell. Some of the best success stories and some of the strongest people come from those that have made the greatest mistakes. However it was going to take me a while to learn this.

Until then this experience had a profound effect on my self perception, self worth and were I placed myself in life. It rewired my brain to function from a sense of lacking and doubt. I harboured shame and regret. I felt I was limited to how I could exist in the world.

This had an astounding effect on my interpersonal relationships in life. I started to sacrifice my own needs because I didn’t think I was worth much. This repetitive cycle happened for years and I plodded through life looking for some sort of saviour. Looking for someone to give me direction and love me because I couldn’t love myself.

Low self worth invites and attracts the wrong types of people into your life because you cease to have love for yourself and with that any sort of boundaries. I accepted toxic relationships with open arms. I lacked self confidence to leave situations that were not serving me. I was not strong enough and didn’t believe in myself enough to listen to my innate instinct.


People that you let into your life are not always your friends and those that say they love you may only love what they can take from you

The come back

Everyones rock bottom can feel and look a little different. But we all know when we have landed in that place.

There is no other destination than rock bottom. So its a choice of staying there or choosing to move. Sometimes rock bottoms are much needed in life. It may not feel like it or look like it at the time but there is a big lesson rock bottoms can teach you if you chose to fight the fight head on and grow.

When I reached rock bottom what came with the isolation was clarity. Profound realisation set in for me that no one was coming to save me except me. I was the one that had to take accountability for my life. The strong realisation dried up my tears, shame turned into resilience, the loneliness turned into self reflection and the heartbreak and betrayal became empowering. For far too long I had repeated the same patterns and the same behaviour out of fear of losing something that I never truly had.

I had become a prisoner of my own toxic habits but most of all a prisoner within my own mind. I was crippled with fear deep inside, even if I didn’t show it, I was scared of everything, fear of failing, fear of being fat, fear of loneliness, fear of starting something new, fear of taking risks, fear of fear. I had actually normalised living my life that way but it was exhausting because I was miserable deep down inside.

The time had come that I had truly had enough. As if finally awake for the first time and with some guts that I had much needed for a long time I decided to change me, people, places and things without hesitation. I did not repeat my cycles and I decided to do something different, do what I normally wouldn’t do and I finally started to see a different reaction. I was coming back me, the real me standing in my power.

Background on my eating disorder

My eating disorder has been a long ordeal. No sooner had I escaped anorexia I was then crippled with bulimia, binge eating and night eating syndrome. Going back 20 years ago I felt really ashamed of how I was binging on food because no one ever really talked about the disorder like they do now. I didn’t understand why I had lost control and was now suffering with frequent binges. I now know its because anorexia took away my understanding of how to eat. I had spent so long depriving myself I had no understanding of when I was hungry or full or what portion sizes I should be eating. Nevertheless, I tried hypnotherapy and a myriad of other things in the hopes that it would stop. However nothing worked.

Bulimia was my way of counteracting my binges and this was my coping mechanism but I soon realised I couldn’t cope putting my body through this constantly. I was extremely exhausted and I felt extremely weak. I was also very emotional. I really felt alone and burdened by this big secret that was consuming my life. I felt completely out of control around food.

Night eating syndrome creeped in while I was at university. This deprived me of sleep and I hit rock bottom. I was consumed by the thought of food day and night. I frantically looked for ways to overcome it. I switched bedrooms thinking that it may help me sleep better. I cleared out cupboards so there was no food in the house. I starved myself through the day if I had binged in the night. All in the hopes of counteracting what I had eaten. This was a very messy existence and internally I was a shambles. Again, this was a subject totally unheard of. I didn’t even know it was another eating disorder at the time.

Eating disorders affect your self worth, self esteem and existence. They effect your relationship with others and the one you have with yourself. I disconnected with my family because I felt misunderstood. My mood swigs didn’t help and I harboured resentment. Now that I had started eating everyone was happy but I blamed everyone for my new disorders. It wasn’t anyones fault. No one could have predicted that this would happen and my mum was happy her daughter wasn’t wasting away. However, my uncontrollable eating was causing major anxiety because I felt I couldn’t stop. I was conscious of my weight going up and afraid of becoming heavily overweight. Coming straight out of anorexia to then binge eating was like living in hell. I still had the mindset of an anorexic about wanting to be thin but now I couldn’t stop myself from eating. I understand now I should have been re-educated and guided into eating food.

There is so much information available to educate people on the reasons why they binge eat. There are so many stories accessible via social media that show how people over come their struggles and its very empowering and helpful. Unfortunately with this not being so readily available all those years ago I had to go a different way about over coming my eating disorder. I realised that this lay with me and it was down to me to sort myself out. I knew after years of acquiring and struggling with these eating disorders it wasn’t going to happen over night.

Eating disorders have the great capacity to isolate you due to them breaking down your relationships. I did spend a lot of time on my own thinking and planning how to get better. I had always instinctively been trying new ways to overcome and mitigate my eating disorder. However, I kept failing and I didn’t understand why? There is a lot of soul searching when it comes to wanting to get better from an eating disorder. This was the moment I realised I had fallen out of friends with myself. I was never nice to myself. I internally berated myself and had a negative internal dialogue. I hated what I saw in the mirror. I innately knew that had to change. By becoming friends with myself it allowed for mindfulness. It slowed down the negative internal dialogued. Instead I acquired compassion for myself. I shifted away from unrealistic expectations and excepted that getting better little by little was better than nothing at all. I started to become present because I started excepting myself. Learning to accept failure and releasing contempt for myself allowed me to see myself as a person again. These intricate changes in my mind and therefore my actions were milestones in a successful blue print that helped pull me out of my eating disorder.

PROGRAMS INFORMATION